I should learn, someday, that doing too much simply isn’t smart. Even, or perhaps especially, if the things you do are things you cannot really change – which is doubly bad since you just have to endure. I spent the entire last week sleeping, or so it felt. I did meet some friends, and I did do NaNoWriMo, but it certainly did not feel as if I had vacation. I was unable to go to work on Monday, and the rest of this week has felt like walking through waist-deep mud, both mentally and physically. And, as usually happens when I’m this tired, drained, burnt out, whatever I should call it, my diet went right out the window.
Today is actually the first time I’ve felt moderately energetic in a while. That is, the morning and the work day was absolutely horrible. I don’t mean to complain, but the last time I had such problems getting out of bed was last year, when I was thoroughly burnt out and had to go to therapy just to be able to function at work (which I didn’t really do until half a year ago).
I don’t think it’s anywhere near as serious as that now. There’s just been a lot of things. My financial situation is thoroughly fucked, to put it bluntly, and there’s been a LOT to do at work. Then there’s the competition two weeks ago, with the mandatory rough landing afterwards when all the built-up tension suddenly disappears, and the end of NaNoWriMo, which has the same effect only stronger. Quite normal for me, in other words, so next year it might be wise to expect it and plan in advance what to do.
As to why I suddenly have my energy back, I’m not sure. It’s weekend (for me at least, since I don’t work Fridays), my former boss invited me for dinner tomorrow, and I’ve finally stopped wishing my situation was different from what it is and instead started focusing on dealing with it. Also I’ve finally finished the layout of one of my other blogs, The Dragon and the Vagabond, which has been in the process for at least half a year, I think. It was quite the relief.
So from today, despite all the things I’ve eaten earlier today that I shouldn’t have, I’m officially back in the game. I worked out for half an hour (Les Mills Combat 30 mins), which felt awesome. My fitness has actually improved quite a bit in the few weeks since last time I used that DVD, and that feels great. Since the weather is too unpredictable for running, and dancing soon ends for the season, I’ve been thinking of following the Les Mills Combat DVD program loosely instead. Loosely because if the pressure knocks me out again, I’ll have achieved nothing but a severe hit to my confidence.
I just realised that I haven’t told you about my competition! How could I forget? I went to the Mainland European Feis & Championship of Irish Dance in the Hague, Netherlands, two weeks ago. I shared a room with a wonderful Finnish girl who’s been dancing for the same teacher – I didn’t know her beforehand, but she is awesome, so no problem there. And I had someone to help me with my wig, which was needed.
I danced seven dances in the Primary category (the categories are Beginner, Primary, Intermediate and Open, plus Championships). Well, technically six dances, but in two competitions. And then I danced twice in the Intermediate category, since one of my dances is the same in both categories. It’s a large competition, and you can really tell that for many of the dancers, it’s the only one they are able to go to during the year. Thus I didn’t place in anything, but I’ve only been back to dance since, what, sometime in the middle of last spring? So I’m happy with it. I actually placed better in the Intermediate dances than in the Primary ones (12th in the Intermediate trophy dance, where you dance one step from any of your dances), but with the exception of one dance (plus the one where someone crashed into me) I remembered all my steps and felt I danced my best.
As always it was great to travel with my dancing group – everyone gets along well, and they are all awesome people. One of the two who competed for the first time ever placed first in several dances, which is fantastic. Though looking back, I can really tell that my mind wasn’t really in the right place when I left home – I managed to not only forget my camera, but also my passport. Yep, I got to Netherlands and back without a passport. It shouldn’t be a big deal, since both Norway and Netherlands are part of Schengen, but it IS the only valid form of identification there. I seldom forget things, so this wasn’t quite… me.
Anyway, now I’m about to eat a (hopefully) lovely and very late fish dinner, listen to some Christmas music (it’s never too early) or cheerful K-pop songs and read a little, while trying not to fiddle with my blog again.
Oh, I changed the layout of this blog as well. The other design drove me slightly mad, and I like this better. I will update it with a better heading as soon as I take a photo that suits the blog topic and theme. Maybe I should photograph my dancing shoes and use them?