New header + resolutions

Tags

accident, blog, diet, goals, news, resolutions, update

So, I had planned on being healthy this Christmas – not eating overmuch of anything, going for runs, doing calisthenics every day, or at least the days when I was not running. That didn’t happen. On Christmas Eve my mother and I were involved in a minor car accident – no injuries, but I hit my head and I am now well into my second week with almost-headaches all day (those where you feel that something’s wrong and you feel the tension, but it’s juuust before the point where they become painful), replaced with proper headaches whenever I’ve spent too much time in front of the computer or a book. Which is almost always, since apart from running/dancing I only have habits and interests that involve computers or books or too much noise.

There’s been some improvement today, so I hope things will be back to normal within a few days. Since my self control evaporates into nothing whenever I don’t exercise my eating habits have been rather bad, but I am slowly turning things around. I’ve decided not to feel bad about Christmas splurging – it was Christmas, after all – but focus on the weeks ahead. Tomorrow’s my first day at work after the holidays, and since I don’t expect my head to be very good at the end of the workday, I’ve decided that whatever happens, diet-wise, happens. Tuesday is another matter. For my birthday I got a gift card for a book store from work, and I’ve decided to use some of it for a recipe book that I wanted for Christmas, but didn’t get. It has plenty of delicious recipes, it’s low carb and it’s for all kinds of occasions. Even healthy desserts! I can’t wait to get my hands on it.

New header

As you can see, I finally updated my header. It’s a bit (or very) shoddy editing, but I couldn’t be more precise without my drawing tablet. There’s something wrong with the drivers (it’s not fully compatible with Windows 7), and I cannot remember what to do when it acts up. But it works for now. I even learnt some new Photoshop tricks for it. The header contains three pairs of shoes – my running shoes and my dancing shoes. The ones to the left are my hard shoes, which are used in Irish dance to create the tap sound (made by the fibreglass blocks in the heel and under the toes). The pair in the middle is my soft shoes, which are much like ballet slippers only in soft leather.

Resolutions

I always go on about how I don’t really care much for New Year’s resolutions… and yet I always make them. I always intend to follow through with them, too, but I rarely do. And so this year I’ve made only a few resolutions:

1. Throughout 2015, I will listen to my body. Reduce the strain if I’m too stressed, exercise less if I’m too sore, eat what is beneficial to my body, make sure I get enough nutrients and enough sleep.

2. I will keep a regular but varied exercise schedule, not just to lose weight, but to maintain a healthy body and a healthy mind. I will exercise at least four days a week, but allow myself to do only light exercise if that is needed.

3. I will start working with my chronic illness, accepting that there are certain limitations, and to do the best with what I can do, instead of beating myself up over what I cannot do. I will work on being the best that I can be, with the abilities that I have, instead of those that I wish I had.

4. I will update this blog regularly, at least once per week, in order to keep myself accountable.

Do you have any resolutions?

Getting better

Tags

blog, burnout, competition, irish dance, mental health, news, travel, update

I should learn, someday, that doing too much simply isn’t smart. Even, or perhaps especially, if the things you do are things you cannot really change – which is doubly bad since you just have to endure. I spent the entire last week sleeping, or so it felt. I did meet some friends, and I did do NaNoWriMo, but it certainly did not feel as if I had vacation. I was unable to go to work on Monday, and the rest of this week has felt like walking through waist-deep mud, both mentally and physically. And, as usually happens when I’m this tired, drained, burnt out, whatever I should call it, my diet went right out the window.

Today is actually the first time I’ve felt moderately energetic in a while. That is, the morning and the work day was absolutely horrible. I don’t mean to complain, but the last time I had such problems getting out of bed was last year, when I was thoroughly burnt out and had to go to therapy just to be able to function at work (which I didn’t really do until half a year ago).

I don’t think it’s anywhere near as serious as that now. There’s just been a lot of things. My financial situation is thoroughly fucked, to put it bluntly, and there’s been a LOT to do at work. Then there’s the competition two weeks ago, with the mandatory rough landing afterwards when all the built-up tension suddenly disappears, and the end of NaNoWriMo, which has the same effect only stronger. Quite normal for me, in other words, so next year it might be wise to expect it and plan in advance what to do.

As to why I suddenly have my energy back, I’m not sure. It’s weekend (for me at least, since I don’t work Fridays), my former boss invited me for dinner tomorrow, and I’ve finally stopped wishing my situation was different from what it is and instead started focusing on dealing with it. Also I’ve finally finished the layout of one of my other blogs, The Dragon and the Vagabond, which has been in the process for at least half a year, I think. It was quite the relief.

So from today, despite all the things I’ve eaten earlier today that I shouldn’t have, I’m officially back in the game. I worked out for half an hour (Les Mills Combat 30 mins), which felt awesome. My fitness has actually improved quite a bit in the few weeks since last time I used that DVD, and that feels great. Since the weather is too unpredictable for running, and dancing soon ends for the season, I’ve been thinking of following the Les Mills Combat DVD program loosely instead. Loosely because if the pressure knocks me out again, I’ll have achieved nothing but a severe hit to my confidence.

I just realised that I haven’t told you about my competition! How could I forget? I went to the Mainland European Feis & Championship of Irish Dance in the Hague, Netherlands, two weeks ago. I shared a room with a wonderful Finnish girl who’s been dancing for the same teacher – I didn’t know her beforehand, but she is awesome, so no problem there. And I had someone to help me with my wig, which was needed.

I danced seven dances in the Primary category (the categories are Beginner, Primary, Intermediate and Open, plus Championships). Well, technically six dances, but in two competitions. And then I danced twice in the Intermediate category, since one of my dances is the same in both categories. It’s a large competition, and you can really tell that for many of the dancers, it’s the only one they are able to go to during the year. Thus I didn’t place in anything, but I’ve only been back to dance since, what, sometime in the middle of last spring? So I’m happy with it. I actually placed better in the Intermediate dances than in the Primary ones (12th in the Intermediate trophy dance, where you dance one step from any of your dances), but with the exception of one dance (plus the one where someone crashed into me) I remembered all my steps and felt I danced my best.

As always it was great to travel with my dancing group – everyone gets along well, and they are all awesome people. One of the two who competed for the first time ever placed first in several dances, which is fantastic. Though looking back, I can really tell that my mind wasn’t really in the right place when I left home – I managed to not only forget my camera, but also my passport. Yep, I got to Netherlands and back without a passport. It shouldn’t be a big deal, since both Norway and Netherlands are part of Schengen, but it IS the only valid form of identification there. I seldom forget things, so this wasn’t quite… me.

Anyway, now I’m about to eat a (hopefully) lovely and very late fish dinner, listen to some Christmas music (it’s never too early) or cheerful K-pop songs and read a little, while trying not to fiddle with my blog again.

Oh, I changed the layout of this blog as well. The other design drove me slightly mad, and I like this better. I will update it with a better heading as soon as I take a photo that suits the blog topic and theme. Maybe I should photograph my dancing shoes and use them?